It seems I find myself forever waiting on myself. To start working again on the pagan life I so love, to start working on myself. But every time I go to sit, to read, to embrace I scare myself away with ‘not good enoughs’ or ‘ you’ve been so lazy for so long what makes you think the gods will take you back now’ or ‘you really don’t believe anyone is listening anyway, so why try’

I don’t want to blame this geographical place but I feel paralyzed by it. Insufficient and Irrelevant. How does one escape the prison of place and one’s mind in a way that doesn’t do more harm? Or should I accept that harm and get on with it? Does there need to be a self recognizing or self-forgiveness?

Are the binds only in my mind? Did I just give into them due to the strong suggestion? or worse did I make them?

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