I feel like I’ve been in a fight for the last couple months, In tantrum like bursts with fierce attacks and equally fiece retreats to tears and dark corners.
I’ve been overly emotional (expecially for me) and telling my husband about every other day that I wasn’t going to Utah. As June dawned and our Tuatha’s Beltaine celebratiosn( yes it’s late but nothing blooms untile June in the high mountains) approuch I felt I’ve come to the conclusion that everything will be okay even if it sucks.
**I’m not sure who the artist is on this piece but it’s lovely**
I’ve worked really hard to find pagan groups, dressage and martial arts trainers, employment, education and focusing on a new adventure with my husband instead of a chaining of my soul to this place as wonderful as it is and as much as I will never forget it. It isn’t fair to my sweet spouse or myself.
It’s been a fight to let my soul be light without depression or stress and a constant dialog with my ancestors and Sweet Brighid to give me strength. I understand that anything good always comes with work and refining and I may have to work Brighid’s forge for a while. It’s always a struggle to know when a trial is self imposed and when it is actually for the better in the long term.
I know this is kind of a re-harsh of what I’ve said before but I feel it kind of needed to be posted anyway. We will be off to Beltaine over the weekend and I’ll post after that of course and then it’s off to find a house.