Last night I couldn’t sleep. I was up and down and had the worst dreams. The genreal feeling I was left with was that my shields had fallen and all the nasty stuff was getting in, that my gods and spirits couldn’t help me now. I was all alone and this monstar had to be defeated by my own hands. That the dear spirits couldn’t go where I had gone and that I was abandoned.
I did a longer meditation this morning and took the time to cleanse my house with palo santo wood ( I dislike sage immensely and this was given to me by a good friend as a substitute, which I really like.) Palo Santo or “Holy Stick” is a natural wood aromatic incense used by the Incas and indigenous people of the Andes as a spiritual remedy for purifying and cleansing, as well as to get rid of evil spirits and misfortune. It has a fine citrus aroma with underlying notes of frankincense, its close relative.
I did a Faery well meditation and a bit of a genis loci meditation too but it was a little harder this time. I couldn’t get a clear vision of the spirit. It kept changing from white orbs into animals and then shifting back to the orbs…. in the end I got a large white bird with a kind of raptor feel to her, maybe an owl. And the gates where stone archways instead of Japanese Tori gates, like the last time. While the spirit still comforted and embraced me, something was majorly off this time.
I then took rose oil and anointed the doors, windows and centers of the house with a equal armed cross and tried to recharge the shields around the house. I took a mix of sea salt and rosemary, which I’ve found works really well for protection and sprinkled a bit in all the corners. I feel better about the house now but I know I’m not finished entirely with reconstructing things.
We will see what the day brings. I will probably do a meditation tonight before bed to see if I can get a clearer picture of what is going on.