” Remember that you and I took the journey together, to a place where there was no where left to go.”
As part of my oblaire training I’ve set out with the intention of connecting more to the Goddess Brighid…through meditation and study each day.
It is not by the means of normal methods that I’m really searching for Brighid. I am searching inside, not outside, of myself to find her. For the Celtic deities once roamed this earth as we do, and If they really did the connection that all humans share is also the connection that the gods share with us.
It is a strange time to look inside myself for divinity. I feel very dark and alone. My love is far from me and my eyes ache to see his face, my hands to touch his hands. It is not something I wish to do but my feet have brought me here o the edge and it is time to find a way where others see none.
My 2nd journal entry after meditation for Brighid reveals that I kept coming back to my dear husband’s face when I tried to reach for Her.
The realization that when I look into his eyes I see myself revealed, without my own restrictions and in my reflection through him I can see the Dear Brighid I search for, deep in my heart.
It is so difficult to get past the veils we wrap ourselves up in…but the ones we love… love us so deeply, despite the veils that eventually we will learn and be able to truly see ourselves.
It is like the first time I posed for a life drawing class. I came home so happy. I showed the gifts that one of the artist had given me to my dear Vymn and I was beaming from ear to ear.
I said “Look, honey…isn’t that beautiful?”
He looked into my eyes and said, “You just figured out that you are sexy didn’t you? I see that every day. ”
I had finally been revealed…through someon else’s eyes to myself. I had never noticed.
It’s not that my husband’s words of love and expressions didn’t mean anything to me, he was my husband, of course I was beautiful and a goddess in his eyes.
It wasn’t just physical beauty, it was emotion and life (thanks to a very talented artist) that I was able to see.
I don’t know if this makes much sense…maybe I’m trying to say that sometimes we get in our own way too much to see what is right in front of us, be it the divine search or ourselves but sometimes we are lucky enough to have those we cherish show us that what we seek is not really so far away but close in our hearts.