Lately I’ve been trying to think of something to post to help other military wives/husbands that are struggling with a current deployment or about to start one.
I ws trying to think of advice that I would have liked to hear so here it is:
It’s sink or swim kiddo. Nobody can tell you how to survive it. You have to trust in yourself and each other and the love between you, that it and ya’ll are strong enough to make it thru.
Of course staying busy helps but being hectic busy hurts. Find something you want to pursue or learn…I took Ninjutsu and am considering learning how to play the hammer dulcimer.
It’s all about finding that balance of everyday life, work, writing to your spouse and being a pillar of strength for them. Sometimes it is a bit of a juggling act but that blessed “thank you” from your spouse is worth it.
Yes it’s hard on both of us, Vymn holds it’s harder on me than him but open honest communication is what gets us thru. If I’m having a real shitty day I sit down and write him about it and keep writing until I feel better. Even far away Vymn is my psychologist. 😉
It’s do or do not. It is a fight at home too, a fight against media and people’s nasty ideas about how military wives behave while their husbands are away, fighting misconceptions and sorrows. Honestly I’d rather be on his end with a weapon and ammunition because then at least the lines of combat are clear(er).
At home or over there it’s a battle the key is to fight together, fight for each other and as much as it sucks wild monkeys while you are fighting in the trenches, it’s worth that kiss, worth that look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, that touch, hell it’s worth an email or a short IM conversation…… it makes the pain, separation and anxieties melt away.
There is always that chance ……that possibility that they won’t come back but I would rather say that we fought for each other, we never gave up than lay on the floor and give up.
It’s not an easy thing to dissect into neat little paragraphs and bullet-ed text, there is no training manual for long distance relationships and marriages, there are no rules of engagement…it’s about you and your soldier working thru.