Breathing meditation. 6 minutes. I had a learning moment today. A change in schedule had my husband V, and I, leaving the house at the same time with him giving me a ride to work. V is not pagan and has no interest in being such but he supports me and respects my practices. This morning was the first time he saw me preform my morning meditations under the new altar set up for the Dedicant Path( DP). V commented on the fire safety of a couple of items and I took it very personal and left the house angry. ( altar set up pictured right)
It had felt V was suddenly not supporting me anymore. That he didn’t trust me or my ability to judge what was a safe set up.It was recommended that I try to include V in my DP, not as a participant but as a partner.
I realized during meditation that a tight grip on a relationship, a possession, an experience does not allow it to grow. I looked up at Epona and the situation reminded me of horseback riding. Our hands and seat must be soft enough to feel our partner (the horse) move and adjust, Our awareness is gently taking in and adjusting to many different outputs. They are wonderful examples ( at least to me) of a relationship with Deities, powers, and spirits. We don’t speak the same language, we usually don’t communicate in similar ways but we figure it out. Through spending time with each other, training, learning together. Because we want to build a relationship, we want to grow. We want to be close.
This path is not what I do in front of my altar, it is what I do around it. By building my practice, by effecting my spirit, I effect others. As my relationships with the gods and dear spirits grow, so do my relationships with my partners and friends. I do not walk this path to remain unchanged. I desire a spirit of light, an understanding of self . I desire this light to shine forth from my eyes and fall with love on all I see- and let that warm the hearts. Let this be my destiny.
The Omen I drew today was The Lady. She is open and futile. A source of abundance and joy at what life has wrought. The Lady encourages you to open to love and trust. However hard life may have been, the blessings of the goddess and of nature are all around you. Accepting them graciously and living a life of purpose and passion is what is needed.
I am open. I honor your gods. I drink from the well. I bring an unprotected heart to our meeting place. I hold no cherished outcome. I will not negotiate by withholding. I am not subject to disappointment.