Accepted

I received the letter on April 18th, 2013 that I will be attending the Boulder College of Massage Therapy in January 2014. A little bit like my letter to Hogwarts (or at least I’d hope) I was nearly floating off the ground. I danced with gratitude in the kitchen and my husband hugged me congratulations.

Before I opened it I had the sinking feeling that it would hold rejection instead of acceptance but I interviewed well and was able to show my academic determination through the last 15 years of schooling. The journey to this door in my life has been an odd one. I’ve always been called to help heal, touch, soothe, energize. I’m grateful my family was affectionate with each other and embraced the power of bodywork and body awareness.  Were it not for a lifetime of support in that way I don’t think I would have gone forward with this.

This is also a time for me to grow into myself. I will be away from my cherished one for a year and a half . Having never had my own space or time alone this should be interesting. Massage is just as much a selfish move as a compassionate one for me. I want to do it for ME because I am good at it and I “deserve” to show up in my own life for *ME*. While I have the full support of my husband, friends and family I am looking forward to time with myself too.  Some of you are saying ” Kassie, you’ve been alone before….for 2 and a half years while your husband was deployed.” but that time was for him, not me. When your spouse is deployed you sit with that 24 hours a day. It’s like a ghost of them is always in front of your face, threatening to be taken from you by a roadside bomb or a lucky shot by the insurgents. One is not alone. Yes I did grow a lot while he was deployed but it was almost for him. A strength gained by carrying him.

We are stronger and closer than ever before…make no mistake, I don’t WANT to leave him but I feel I missed out by marrying so young (20). So i go on this journey to empower myself by being able to run my own business, by listening to my own body as well as others and by showing up in my own life.

The letter from BCMT accepted me into my schooling but I also accepted a part of myself that day.