It seems that I cannot choose a simple life of simple choices. I must have constant growth and challenges. My spirit doesn’t rest and I’m pretty sure I can’t function without them. I am trying very hard right now to direct this energy into a life where these choices are not so hectic but plotted and conscious.
I’m having an obscenely difficult time dealing with my Empathic abilities ( not a term taken lightly) It is not that i am picking up on other people’s business, I am pretty controlled in that area…. but that my own emotions and experiences are so strong and powerful that I feel lost in them sometimes. Everything is magnified and it makes me a little worried or scared sometimes that I will actually become lost if I give into these things fully.
I am trying to work with deities and spirits that will help me to control this. I can almost see the tangled knots of energy in my body, the blockages but every time I turn my eye to look it disappears and all I feel is the tension. I think I need help but I am not sure what to do or if someone outside of myself can even help me.
I don’t feel depressed, in fact, I feel more sure of myself then I have in a long time but the ever-presence of these stumbling blocks is puzzling and difficult.
This probably makes no sense what-so-ever but I needed to try to voice it.