I completed a 6 minute breathing meditation with repetition of oath and omens today. This week I am focusing on nature and my relationship with it. Nature or the absence of it has informed my life and my ability to connect to people. I’m sure those that know me get sick of me speaking of my childhood home but the land changed me. I still get emotional about leaving and not being able to go back as readily.
Seeking this connection is what drove me to druidry. I found an article a long time ago that spoke on the principles and faiths of druids and something clicked…That understanding is what I had been searching for.
Our lives are truly tapestries and this essay is asking me to pick out one thread among millions and tell you the tale of how that wool, that sheep, changed me.
The thread I offer to you today is when I moved from the mountains of North Carolina to the deserts of Utah. At the time I was merely following my family. At only 16 I don’t think that I had lived through many experiences that changed my character but suddenly being without the sheltering support of the land that I grew up on, the people that loved me…it was very jarring. The deep forests and deep soul of the people suddenly wasn’t there. The lack of it changed my parents and all of us (I am the oldest of 6 children) . Seeing my parents change from community connected people to be isolated and struggling. My mother laughed much less, we hardly ever saw my father.
I sought the feeling of connection again and again and was turned away. Family dinners stopped. Sunday strolls into the countryside ceased. I tried to get out in nature but the land didn’t have that same cradling feeling here in the west. I didn’t feel safe without the enveloping rhododendron, poplar, and dogwood.
I just wanted to feel the connection again. I constantly sought out the fringe, maybe alternative thought or philosophy would help me understand what I was looking for. All I knew is that something was missing.
This missing piece lead me to so many experiences in my life. I have not returned to North Carolina, though one day I hope to. Instead I have chosen to do my best to illuminate that gift of unity within myself and help others to see it in themselves. It lead me to decide that the connection with people, the practice of compassion, the art of healing is what I wanted to do because I needed that connection. It was why I chose massage and so many other things in my life.
Upon moving to Colorado I finally found a people and a land that supported and answered me and with that 6 years of experience I come back to Utah to try to cultivate it here.
The Omen I drew today is the High Priestess. She is Depth, Intuition, inner wisdom and the Divine Feminine. She seems to bar our way with her body channeling the power of the moon, the goddess. Do not be in a rush to move forward with your journey as she is the initiator. ” Present yourself before the Mysteries of life in humility and reverence. Open to the stillness and the depths within you to give strength and wisdom.”
She is the connected one. The channel and the way. Through patience and understanding can one be initiated too. Perhaps she is the spirit of Utah…or the spirit that I need to embody at this time in my life. Open to Stillness.